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Florida's Extreme Nation Virginal Sacrifice

There were only a couple hundred of us. Not even. But we had one thing in common. It was our first time. Entry required a pre-determined four-some, some 19 male and 7 or 8 female groups. But no one had done it yet. As would be expected, a few randoms showed up just for the experience. And no one knew what to expect. Wetness, pain, perhaps a burning sensation; all anticipated some sort of soreness next day. Appropriate to the quickness of anticipated finishers, start times were set just a minute apart per four-some. For the first time in the record of first-timers, everyone showed up hoping to finish first.


For those unused to contorting themselves in unfamiliar positions, over-coming some obstacles not only required degrees of pre-pubescent flexibility and similar illegal temptations, but techniques that may have been downright impossible... such as ringing a bell at the climax of a rope climb with a single, potentially worn-out hand... while hard-wood chutes blocked a sharply-spiked barbed wire sideways maneuver to... smoother territory.


While some participants claimed a sandbag carry was the most grueling of their sweat-soaked exertions, the loosely-spaced, fresh morning moist dewy-ness of hard metal monkey bars proved to be an inevitable downfall of those lacking an experienced grip or perhaps well-exercised forearm.


Advantages to the virginal group of obstaclers was a quick registration which prevented anyone from preemptively regretting their decision. And since seconds are of the essence for all first-timers, not just one but two timing chips were available to attach to each participating appendage in the event.... for accuracy purposes only, of course. Lest it not be forgotten this was an actual race, it is worth noting that unlike most first-time occurrences, the fastest finishers are the ones who actually get a prize. As in, a combined purse of $40,000 for those who can get come over the finish line the fastest. Yeah, that happened.


The cool thing is, everyone gets better with experience, and even though the next race may include those with a few more notches under their belt, the Extreme Nation might just be a rewarding venue for those looking to pop their obstacle cherry. Just make sure to wear protection.